a new title, a new description. nothing is different. freedom. i long to break out of the rules around me, silly, meaningless rules. but i cannot. and it sickens me.
feels like i'm rotting away, a little bit at a time, and soon, sometime soon, there wont be enough of a will to hold the darkness back. Not even sure if there is enough now.
Feels so good, just thinking about letting it out. Feels exhilirating, intoxicating. The adrenaline rush is so real, i can feel power coursing through my veins again. Maybe i shouldn't deny myself. Deny my reality. maybe i misunderstood. maybe the word came in wrong. maybe controlling my anger isn't the same as comtrolling where the source of my anger is. Maybe its not about, not feeling angry at all, but about dealing with it the right way. Maybe. i don't know.
At the end of it all, here's the deal. I'm not covering it up anymore. If i'm angry about something, i'm going to say it. Tact, is secondary. What i need to get off my chest, i will.
The blog renamed, is perhaps more aptly named. Its just the way i am, deal with it, or deal with me. Either way, its just the way i like it. Just this, if you will face me down, prepare to get hurt.