in all honesty, today's debate didnt go too well. team dynamics havent quite settled down, everyone is rusty, as am i. on top of it, we got the really bad side of the debate. THW legalise drugs in sport. not impossible, but no easy task. well, no debate is, just that this one is harder than most. maybe if i was less worn out....
ahh well, hope the team settles down ASAP and get down to a winning formula. yeah.

in other news, i'm a nice person than i used to be. probably could be nicer to people. perhaps it is better to be nice to ppl and not have them reciprocate than to just be ambivalent and lose the person altogether. i dunno.

well its been a rather intriguing day. glad to have been thru it all in all.

today, i officially broke one of my blades. its one i havent used in an eternity. i have put this one away. but as usual. i keep it for backup. i keep it against the day it might have to be used again. today, befoer the Lord, i broke the blade in two. never again can i use it again. that is my oath. on my honour. Long i have known malicious lies can ruin people. i detest its usage. it is an ugly weapon. without finesse. without honour. but it lay there then, in my armoury. today, it is no more. and i am glad of it.
others like it remain. my words can still be weapons. by sheer tone of voice and choice of words, i can still hurt and wound. but that is my craft. today, i can guarantee that lies will no longer be part of this lethal repertoire. i also pray that i may never be forced to draw this weapon, ever.

i like my peace. i like the quiet environment. i like having friends. really. a lot. touch them, and i will draw my blade. blades. every last weapon i have within me, i will bring to bear. physical, mental, emotional... i will strike with lethal force. they are my friends. my family. these are ties beyond those of blood. 'ware the wrath of an assassin.

alright. its been a long day. longer than the average work day. thats school for ya. damn it.
so we're kinda like all fucked up. like seriously so.
honest. its a bitches world out there.
heh. am i feeling a tad upset today.

i'm supposed to do this thing for my churhc group leader. its kinda important. so ur gonna have to deal with me while i thresh out my thoughts on these questions.

1st. so can we reconcile the Book of Genesis with the Theory of Evolution?

ok. 1st question. must we? Hey, even Darwin admits we don't have enough missing links for his theory to be possible. It isnt that big a deal if we say Genesis is right, Darwin was wrong. But, thats not very nice, is it? And its a tad extreme too.

so here goes nothing. Basically, according to Genesis, on the 5th day, God created animals. On the sixth day, he created us.
ok. do we have to take a day so literally? or any of Genesis so literally. If you read it like a parable, you get in a certain amount of time, God created animals. after that period, he created man. And even by created, it could mean that he created a few basic types, that could then mutate and change into more different animals. its obviously not beyond God to see that far. Heck, he created Adam and Eve. thats 2 people. then set down in John 3:16, "For God so loved the WORLD....". quite a world with 2 people huh? obviously, God saw a lot more than 2 people.

There's actually a more complex proof as to how long each'day' in genesis 1 is. something to do with God's perpective in the Big Bang. How you see the world as though everything is coming toward you due to expansion. so if u divide the 7 days as to 7 equal distances being covered by the expanding universe, then in time terms, the 7th day is longer than the 6th which is longer than the 5th.....which gives the time frame required for the bloody sea bacteria to evolve into fish, amphibians, mammals and the like.

What there is a big dispute over though, is whether Man evolved from Ape. Despite the similarities involved, more so in some than others, bottom line is this. Man may have evolved in some ways over time, but we did not come from monkeys.

it generally sucks when a plan backfires on you. i had this one about attending physics lectures. i'll just skip the ones i really dislike( cos of the lecturer) and read my textbook at home. i have a really good textbook too. but somehow, the stuff taught in the lecture doesnt appear in my textbook, so there goes my master plan. end result, now i have to attend lectures.

on a brighter note, i attended my 1st econs S lecture today. essentially, i'm intimidated, but very happy. its free liscence to be disagreeable there. u can isagree with anything, as long as u have the logic to back it up. yeah its a whole load of fun.

this is another insane idea brought to you by an unstable indidvidual. except, how can i be unstable if i know i'm unstable....hmm....

this has to do with what sheng propsed some time ago. instead of having NS to defend singapore, we should have some kinda missile silo, possibly on sentosa, since its such a lousy place anyway. and we should ahve a few tactical nuclear options. so if any of our neighbours start feeling bellicose, or downright belligerent, we just launch a nci cruise missile into their capital, followed by a threat of using nuclear arms.

Mutually Assured Destruction (MAD) only works if the other side has 1. a chance to retaliate 2. nuclear weapons as well.
well, look around singapore for a moment. indonesia probably cant afford nukes. and besides, after we nuke jakarta, it just break up into ickle island nations.
then malaysia. well they could probably get a nuke. and figure out how to use it, barely. but they're likely to save petrol and use like palm oil instead, so with any luck, they'll hit JB instead. worse come to worse, they'll take out the causeway. then again, if we nuke KL, we get Mahatir's house, and they cant retaliate after that, since the whole country will be in chaos.

well, thats a solution to defence if we ever decide to scrap NS. in economic terms, it might even be cheaper. 2.5 yrs off the working life of every able bodied male is a hell lotta money. and so is they're pay.

as promised, i'm now going to discuss the interesting hair decoration device used by Sophia last Sunday. Its a Christmas tree ornament, i tell ya.....

not actually, i'm gonna discuss murphy's law. you know the one that says, if it can screw up, it will?

basically, there are 2 things i wanna relate. the 1st being weather control through murphy's law, and second, on the literary version of murphy's law.

so on to weather control. taking into account murphy's law, if u keep saying, please dont rain, chances are ur gonna get soaked. hence instead, u should start convicning yerslef u love the rain, that getting wet is good, and any strong sunlight in general is bad for your health. u would probably get home safe then. as a material witness, we have li shengwu, who on the way home from school today, was shouting out 'i love rain', and subsequently got home dry. intriguing....

then there is this thing about words. if the meaning of what u write about can be taken wrongly, it probably will. i'm sure shunjing agrees with me on this. i'll not quote anything he wrote, nor mention anything about it i particular. but its safe to say that, if yer tone, diction (whatever i aint no lit student) can be construed into having some romantic twist or worse still, innuendo, thats probably how ppl will see it.

ahh well, thanskl for tuning in to another episode of crap from the 91st cloud in heaven.

ciaoz

So i've actually been crawling around the World Wide Web as of late. Just read some blog links from Shunjing. I'll figure out how to link u to his blog in a aeon or so. Read some of the blogs of people i've met. All in all, rather depressing. When the world tosses people into the dump, i kinda get angry. Hey, it happened to me once too. Unfortunately, my only reaction still seems to be a sword. the hyperlink to this site must've triggered off some warning bells already huh. btw, a kodachi is not a wakizashi.
anyhows, i just feel like lashing out at something again. *punches the wall, hard* *assessing damage* no i didnt break the wall, and no i dont need a cast. ahh well, at least i feel better now....

A friend askd me this question yesterday. Why is Maaya Sakamoto so damned good? I really don't know. How can anyone sing like that? She's like my fav anime seiyuu. Well maybe Megumi Hayashibara will tie with her, i dunno. But seriously, Escaflowne is just beautiful as a series. 'cept the ending didnt feel like an ending. thank God for OVAs. cant wait to d/l it off kazaa.

I love the soundtrack off Escaflowne

Yakusoku wa Iranai (No need to Promise) (opening theme)
Mystic Eyes (closing theme)
Shadow of Doubt ( seems to be Folken's theme)
Sora (sky)
Tomodachi
and the gregorian chant....

man.....

I want a Guymelef for Christmas next year....an Ispano Guymelef....for now, i'll figure how to kill a bleeding dragon....

I can gush about this till time itself passes away. lets talk for a moment about miracles. they're supposed to be rare. u get 1 in a lifetime and you're a lucky mofo.
when u get 2 in the space of a month or so, thats called a blessing. Amen. Thank God for, well God. Love the feeling of an open heaven. You can trip and fall and find yerself in a pool of chocolate. who said life aint a box of chocs anyway? Gosh, 1st i find 6 missing marks form my end-of-year physics paper to get an A, then i study the better part of 2 hours(i spent the 1st watching TV mostly) studying for SAT and get a 1550. All glory be to God. seriously, ur not supposed to get grades like that without effort in the normal run of things. but who wants to operate in the natural when u can do so in the supernatural. above and beyond. more than enough. more than you can hope or dream of. My cup runneth over!!!!!!!
hallalujah!!!!!

yeah i'm gushing. and i dont even have the calm to think up words to rap out another freestyle track. i feel on fire.

school. a centre of education. where students partake in the bread that is knowledge.
the education service. where decisions are made at the top. they bend to the voice of teachers, bow to the pressures of parents.
however, rather ironically, the thoughts of the stydent population remains largely unheard. and when it is let out, all ideas are just shot down.
lets not even deal with how reasonable the retorts are, one could write a thesis on this.

usually, parent should look out for their children's best interests. right? wrong!
nobody else knows whats best for you besides, well, you. exceptions are to be made for divine forces.
but, if you cant vote, the government doesnt care about you. as long as they squeeze the potential out of you, parents are happy.
so it actuality, you're mired in a system that will abuse you but gives you no chance to fight back.
wonderful.
an unholy alliance between those who raise you and those who educate you.
for lack of a better statement to make. pfft.

ahh well. SATs. over. studied for them for like half a day.
doesnt matter. feels like i'm gonna do well. have 2 glasses of wine the day before the exam. you'll do better.
besides, wine is good stuff

enough about that.

issues. friends got issues. parents got issues. everyone around me seems to have issues. why dont i have issues. i'm happy, life is cool, just a bit unhappening cos of financial constraints. the things we do for God. Praise His Name anyway, i say.

but overall, i'm satisfied and happy, and feeling a little out of place, a little unnatural as a result. but you have the right to be unhappy, and me, vice versa. so there.

how the question is, should i play shining force again...hmm...

I just got back form debate camp. yeah, my juniors organised one. so i went to help out since i got bored.

few comments.
if you ever decide to have a camp, organise real early, get all the details thrashed out.
whats this event. how long is it gonna take. what do you need. who's gonna bring it. it should be available like 1 week before hand.
your schedule. do ya have one. is there spare time for problems. contingencies. and plan Bs. anything activities u can drop if u need time.

oh yeah, then about girls at camp. in general, girls are a tad more trouble than guys. live with it. its a fact of life. they've got more preferences, and somesuch.
chill, take it easy. yes, they can be more 'troublesome'. but thats okay. u can deal with it.

all in all, camp was fun. slept 5 hours in 2 days. what can i say?
special thanks to one of the NY girls who turned up. Sonia.
yes, she was helpful. while everyone else, juniors included were stoning around, she helped.
intriguing. special. gracias.

still not mincing words.

about it from me, for now.
why dont a million dollars ever fall on my head anyway.
don't worry, it'll happen, till then, i'll dream of my Jaguar S class and the katana in the front seat.

So i've been reading new ideas form dead economists, not all of which are dead, but should be happy to be found in the same book as smith keynes and mills.
good book, great ideas. havent finished it yet. deep book. gonna take a while. not sure if i wanna read about Karl Marx at all.

maybe i could hold a discourse on weapons. traditional weapons. near ancient weapons. stuff like shuriken. katanas. quarterstaffs. fighting sticks. koudachi even.
but they're all either sharp or blunt. either pack a hella punch, or are just amazingly light and easy to manouvre. nothing much else to say.

gee this is daft. aimless, mindless wandering. this is a joke.
have i actually gotten to any point yet? no? yeah, i realise.

to be honest, general sentiment at the moment revolves around, i like chicks, dont give a damn about the world, and err...lets see....what am i gonna say next.
oh yes, should i burn myself to see how it feels? i'm bored stiff. lying backwards.
i need a new storybook to read. need a new theme for my life. and i need to find a new game to play, or just people to play regular soccer with. boredom sucks

*screams in rage and well, boredom*

thats it, lemme rave about the upcoming release of DOA 3. dead or alive 3. pure fighting game. no ridiculous jump heights. no fireballs and whatsits. no bullshit.
clean fighting game. kinda like virtua fighter. but better. think tekken 4, better girls, better moves. remember DOA xtrme volleyball. put the graphics into a fighting game.
are u drooling yet? out on xbox only tho.

ok. so today i wasted 6.50 on a movie called the guru.
if it was a comedy, it wasnt funny. if it was supposed to be erotic, i certainly wasnt turned on at all.
sum of it all. stupid movie. speaking of movies, saw one last week called possession. ok its a tad romnatic. some of the scenes on kissing were just too long. but on the whole, nice movie. deeper meaning. nice smooth transition from present to past to present. very nice script and words. go watch it.

meanwhile, i'm struggling with anger management still. its so easy to get angry. so easy to wanna let it out. so easy to conjure thoughts of how to hurt someone. worst part is, i know exactly how to do it. i may not be in the physical shape to do it atm, but if i get on with my workout and seriously get myself back into shape, there is no doubt i can. scary.

also, seem to be thinking about nothing in particular. no aprticular goals in life beyond the As and my scholarshop at the moment. besides getting fit, which cant be a goal per se, and learning to play the guitar, which is becoming a dream more than reality. father seems ambivalent. mother...well mother doesnt seem to be able to make up her mind.
yes : cos she used to play and would like me to
no : As nxt yr.
as a result, no financing, no lessons

gee this is becoming my personal bitching board. everytime i aint happy, i rip off here. everytime i feel down i rip off here
somehow, i celebrate here too. when i'm joyful, u hear about it too.

today's been a bitchy day, but to end it all off....no matter how fuckewd up life is, it coulda been worse
Praise the Lord

hopefully, i've recovered form the bloodlust.
yesterday, i would ahve expressed my disgust as Singaporean ehaviour in general, but its such a fine day today, i dont think i shall.
well, exams are over, results are out, didint do too well, but i didnt muck up either. guess i'm fine.

well now to figure how to spend my hols. as usual, i have no plans. whatever happnes, happens. i need to hang out more. i need money to drop outta the sky.
wishful thinking.

at this present point in time, i wold like to illustrate a fantasy called the MOE Massacre.
it involves just 3 things. a katana, sharp. a stiletto knife. and a choke wire.

0900 hours - walk thru the door of the MOE building
0905 hours - see receptionist and ask for office for NE
0910 hours - arrive at office
0911 hours - approach secretary to see dept head(rejected since w/o appointment0
- battoujutsu decapitates secretary
- walks into office
0915 hours - tied up dept head
- using his handkerchief and ink, muffled him up(should suffocate in 15 minutes)
0920 hours - walk out of office. door closed and locked.
0930 hours - killed everyone else in office with katana(still dont feel like a battousai. mus tbe the lack of skill)
- dept head turned blue
0945 hours - arrives at CIP department. using a cigarette, burn light the room. guard the door and kill anyone who tries to run
1030 hours - all guards arriving dead.
- proceed to IPW committee meeting
1115 hours - strangled all members with choke wire
- feeling a lot better now
1130 hours - peek in on committee for chinese langauge(my sister speaks better chinese than these twerps)
- pierces each of them in both kidneys(they'll die)
1200 hours - dump knife and wire in bin. use kerosene to burn it all
- wipe katana clean and mail back to japanese penpal
1230 hours - lunch at mcdonalds

promos are over.
preparing for open house RJ now. kalaidoscope its called
dumb name, dumb event.
more than half the peeps coming will never step thru the rusting gates of RJ again.
anyhows, there's nothing much to see.
if yer a gal, u came to chat with older friends
if yer a guy, go ogle the dancers who are older than u, and u'll never get them.
then again, most of them are positive airheads.

so maybe some will come to see their friends. some just extra enuff to crash the event
bottom line is, its a dumb event, where u try to attract ppl into choosing RJC
as if that needs to be done. kids these days are so carried away by academic success they probably dream of coming to RJ.
dumb.

whihc brings me on to the MOE, parents and students. and the clash of interests between them.
the MOE wants better trained students. they want us to know more, and be able to do more.
Parents want us to succeed, to perform well. Good grades, nice record, good testimonial blahblahblah
the combined effects of this, we get all sorts of programmes such as IPW, CIP, PEARLS and so on and so forth.
each time round they make any changes, there's always the plan by the MOE, and criticism from parents.

in a perfect world, parents would look out for their children. unfortunately, this is by no means a perfect world.
parents dont listen to their children, and are more interested in what they think is best for the child, than what the child thinks is healthy for himself, or herself if u insist on being femininist and really anal.

its kinda like saying, i know u feel the pain of being shot by a bullet, but really, i think its best if u didnt get painkillers, u might get addicted or some bullshit like that. so anyways, sandwiched between the demands of parents and state, children find themselves squeezed dry like lemons. don't we all just feel wonderful now? anybody just ralised why teenage suicide rates are going up?
well done =p

but twhats the real problem here? the students dont get a voice to air their opnions. and even when they lose it and snap, nobody listens. thats the real problem. and dont tell me about students councils and the like. they're even simply elected. the powers that be, which we disagree with, have the right to veto.

aint that a joke, the sole check we have against their abuse of power, and they have the veto on anyone they see as unfit. arbritrary, unfair, undemocratic the list goes on.and obviously the radicals arent going anywhere. telling the teacher he/she is wrong is not going to earn u brownie points. school prefect? yea right.

so why do the youth of today suffer? nobody listens with enough interest to stand up for us. they call it rebellion. for us, its survival.

if yer an adult reading this and u disagree, 2 words. FUCK OFF.

new entry. i'm bored again. got my physics promos tomorrow. they're like my end of year exams.
and it sucks. duh. all exams suck. only thing that sucks even more is IPW. in a nutshell. school sucks
wihtout school, we'd learn faster, learn more, apply better, and be happier all at once. why have school at all?

aside from teh eudcation system being fucked up, life sucks cos i cant go out and play anymore. nobody to play with.
i ahte becoming an adult. what happened to fun? why must we be so fucking busy we cant take a step back and go back to sunday football games with everyone else?

fuck education man.

since i'm in the mood, i think i'll write one more.
i dont know what this is gonna be about, so you'll have to stay with me while i ramble.

i'm thinking about law and punishment here, cos i'm doing it for GP right now.
seems like everyone wants to talk about the death penalty.
does it work?
is it moral?
blah blah blah.
personally, who cares whether punishment serves the 4 tenets of justice?
(retribution, rehabilitation, deterence, and closure btw)

like in drow society, for all u AD&D fans, if you're good enough to get away with it, what the heck?
and who says human laws are perfect, correct and even good for everyone in the 1st place?

so there. its all nonsense and u've just wasted time reading it.
hope u feel better too.