to lead.
so many things to keep in mind. so many things to consider.
then on top of that, you have to think about the people
and thats just complicated. people have thoughts, feelings, and worst of all, they get their own ideas on how the world works.
and they can't seem to give em up.

sighz....people...

You got a minute for yo' son father, I need to talk
I'm so tired of tryin to run father, let's take a walk
I'm so sorry for what I done father, it ain't my fault
But the devil's been on my back lately, he's like a hawk
You never give us more than we can handle, but it's gettin hard
And I'm a strong individual, but I need you
God Lot of things that I used to, I don't wanna run the streets like I used to,
I know I'm gonna speak the word for you one day
Up in there like, "Hallelujah!" on Sunday
I thank you Lord for the blessings that you gave me
And for my life with the blessings you have saved me
And for my wife you have carried me enough times - and that's the truth
Married me to rough times, throughout my youth
And through it all I saw that you was still with me I was that one lost sheep and you was comin to get me

[Chorus]
Lord you got me like.. your love got me like..
Lord you got me like.. your love got me like..
Lord you got me like.. your love got me like..
Lord you got me like.. your love got me like..

[DMX]
I look at life a little different now, since you hugged me
And I always loved my peoples, but now they love me
Thank you for the love Lord, we praise ya
Jacob's descendants, from Africa to Asia Pleadin the blood of Christ over our life
Wrong or right, just help us make it through the night and we'll shout yo' name in times of need
And times of joy, and, when we bleed
And, when we are overcome with greed
You ain't gon' half to tell me twice, I'ma take heed
And because of what you've given me, I know you'll deliver me
And I won't drown no matter how deep the river be
You are the strength I, never knew I had
Kept the heart good when they told me it was bad
All praises due to ya
That's why I had to dedicate somethin new to ya, thank you father

[Chorus]

[DMX]
Uhh.. I never knew a love like, this before
Messin with the thug life I, missed it all
You opened the doors and, let me in I'm down for the cause so, let's begin
Prayers that you give to me I give to them
Same way you live in me I live in them
Life is a blessing now
You got me smilin from inside of my heart, when inside it was dark
And it doesn't rain anymore
Only sunshine, no pain anymore, I really love my
You washed away the tears with the fears I'm happier than I've ever been in my life, the whole thirty years
You know that! one day I'll speak the word
You know that! when I do I will be heard
You know that! you gave me a permanent smile
And you know this father because I'm yo' child, what?

[Chorus]

[Chorus] - (minus second half of each line)

[Chorus] - repeat 2X

Someday, someday soon, i'm gonna be able write and rap like this. Soon.

doors to spiritual growth seem to open once you start doing your simple daily devotions. read the bible, pray, and hey, now Bro. Patrick wants to train and disciple a whole bunch of us. its really quite amazing. dynamic guy, bro patrick. anyhows, lets see how i take to it. this next step is probably gonna burn me even more, but the more heat there is, the more tempered the steel. heh. i'm gonna come out stronger, sleeker, smoother, and altogether more dangerous. The Devil sure is fighting a losing battle.

but on to less shiny things. i find i still can't understand my friend shunjing. he places such a high value on emotions, most of all love. he claims he sees the importance of calm collected planning along with the love that inspires the plan in the first place. more, he says he can maintain that high level of emotion and still be calm and collected in planning. i hate to be a harbinger of bad news, but thats a biological impossiblity. love and fear are probably the 2 strongest most basic emotions that humans can feel. either one of them, felt with the sheer intensity that inspires action, will escape the rational mind. u can maintain some degree of the emotion that inspires the plan. but this emotion has to come under the control of the rational mind if you want to plan anything. its just a fact. the full aknowledge ment of the significance of what you do drives you toward perfection. all well and good. perfection, however, must be practical still.

so we want what is carried out in church to be better than what can be found in the world. thats fine. better in what way? are u striving for what is better? as in of a higher quality? or simply different and original? they aren't exactly the same thing. granted they are not mutually exclusive, but they are not the same thing. something 'new' and 'fresh' may not be of as a hihg a quiality as what is 'tried and true' and that is the crux of the matter. maybe we can re-engineer certain games and activities to better suit us. but come up with completely new stuff? maybe if we had 6 mths instead of 6 days, we could come up wiht 1 or 2 new games? if they're good, we'd probably make a fortune selling the patent to like, what was that company that gave us monopoly again?

last off, its this whole assumption about everyone plays by the same rules. not everyone has as few people controlling their lives to some degree. or has that much time. its seriously unrealistic to ask a student to take out the rest of his day for a meeting and want to do something special before. and then when it doesn't happen, whine sob and cry over it. i'm sorry, its just an unrealistic expectation and yer setting yerself up to be disappointed. and getting totally ticked off by something like that without getting an explanation is just childish. why do i always have to say the mean stuff? grow up man