school. a centre of education. where students partake in the bread that is knowledge.
the education service. where decisions are made at the top. they bend to the voice of teachers, bow to the pressures of parents.
however, rather ironically, the thoughts of the stydent population remains largely unheard. and when it is let out, all ideas are just shot down.
lets not even deal with how reasonable the retorts are, one could write a thesis on this.

usually, parent should look out for their children's best interests. right? wrong!
nobody else knows whats best for you besides, well, you. exceptions are to be made for divine forces.
but, if you cant vote, the government doesnt care about you. as long as they squeeze the potential out of you, parents are happy.
so it actuality, you're mired in a system that will abuse you but gives you no chance to fight back.
wonderful.
an unholy alliance between those who raise you and those who educate you.
for lack of a better statement to make. pfft.

ahh well. SATs. over. studied for them for like half a day.
doesnt matter. feels like i'm gonna do well. have 2 glasses of wine the day before the exam. you'll do better.
besides, wine is good stuff

enough about that.

issues. friends got issues. parents got issues. everyone around me seems to have issues. why dont i have issues. i'm happy, life is cool, just a bit unhappening cos of financial constraints. the things we do for God. Praise His Name anyway, i say.

but overall, i'm satisfied and happy, and feeling a little out of place, a little unnatural as a result. but you have the right to be unhappy, and me, vice versa. so there.

how the question is, should i play shining force again...hmm...

I just got back form debate camp. yeah, my juniors organised one. so i went to help out since i got bored.

few comments.
if you ever decide to have a camp, organise real early, get all the details thrashed out.
whats this event. how long is it gonna take. what do you need. who's gonna bring it. it should be available like 1 week before hand.
your schedule. do ya have one. is there spare time for problems. contingencies. and plan Bs. anything activities u can drop if u need time.

oh yeah, then about girls at camp. in general, girls are a tad more trouble than guys. live with it. its a fact of life. they've got more preferences, and somesuch.
chill, take it easy. yes, they can be more 'troublesome'. but thats okay. u can deal with it.

all in all, camp was fun. slept 5 hours in 2 days. what can i say?
special thanks to one of the NY girls who turned up. Sonia.
yes, she was helpful. while everyone else, juniors included were stoning around, she helped.
intriguing. special. gracias.

still not mincing words.

about it from me, for now.
why dont a million dollars ever fall on my head anyway.
don't worry, it'll happen, till then, i'll dream of my Jaguar S class and the katana in the front seat.

So i've been reading new ideas form dead economists, not all of which are dead, but should be happy to be found in the same book as smith keynes and mills.
good book, great ideas. havent finished it yet. deep book. gonna take a while. not sure if i wanna read about Karl Marx at all.

maybe i could hold a discourse on weapons. traditional weapons. near ancient weapons. stuff like shuriken. katanas. quarterstaffs. fighting sticks. koudachi even.
but they're all either sharp or blunt. either pack a hella punch, or are just amazingly light and easy to manouvre. nothing much else to say.

gee this is daft. aimless, mindless wandering. this is a joke.
have i actually gotten to any point yet? no? yeah, i realise.

to be honest, general sentiment at the moment revolves around, i like chicks, dont give a damn about the world, and err...lets see....what am i gonna say next.
oh yes, should i burn myself to see how it feels? i'm bored stiff. lying backwards.
i need a new storybook to read. need a new theme for my life. and i need to find a new game to play, or just people to play regular soccer with. boredom sucks

*screams in rage and well, boredom*

thats it, lemme rave about the upcoming release of DOA 3. dead or alive 3. pure fighting game. no ridiculous jump heights. no fireballs and whatsits. no bullshit.
clean fighting game. kinda like virtua fighter. but better. think tekken 4, better girls, better moves. remember DOA xtrme volleyball. put the graphics into a fighting game.
are u drooling yet? out on xbox only tho.

ok. so today i wasted 6.50 on a movie called the guru.
if it was a comedy, it wasnt funny. if it was supposed to be erotic, i certainly wasnt turned on at all.
sum of it all. stupid movie. speaking of movies, saw one last week called possession. ok its a tad romnatic. some of the scenes on kissing were just too long. but on the whole, nice movie. deeper meaning. nice smooth transition from present to past to present. very nice script and words. go watch it.

meanwhile, i'm struggling with anger management still. its so easy to get angry. so easy to wanna let it out. so easy to conjure thoughts of how to hurt someone. worst part is, i know exactly how to do it. i may not be in the physical shape to do it atm, but if i get on with my workout and seriously get myself back into shape, there is no doubt i can. scary.

also, seem to be thinking about nothing in particular. no aprticular goals in life beyond the As and my scholarshop at the moment. besides getting fit, which cant be a goal per se, and learning to play the guitar, which is becoming a dream more than reality. father seems ambivalent. mother...well mother doesnt seem to be able to make up her mind.
yes : cos she used to play and would like me to
no : As nxt yr.
as a result, no financing, no lessons

gee this is becoming my personal bitching board. everytime i aint happy, i rip off here. everytime i feel down i rip off here
somehow, i celebrate here too. when i'm joyful, u hear about it too.

today's been a bitchy day, but to end it all off....no matter how fuckewd up life is, it coulda been worse
Praise the Lord

hopefully, i've recovered form the bloodlust.
yesterday, i would ahve expressed my disgust as Singaporean ehaviour in general, but its such a fine day today, i dont think i shall.
well, exams are over, results are out, didint do too well, but i didnt muck up either. guess i'm fine.

well now to figure how to spend my hols. as usual, i have no plans. whatever happnes, happens. i need to hang out more. i need money to drop outta the sky.
wishful thinking.

at this present point in time, i wold like to illustrate a fantasy called the MOE Massacre.
it involves just 3 things. a katana, sharp. a stiletto knife. and a choke wire.

0900 hours - walk thru the door of the MOE building
0905 hours - see receptionist and ask for office for NE
0910 hours - arrive at office
0911 hours - approach secretary to see dept head(rejected since w/o appointment0
- battoujutsu decapitates secretary
- walks into office
0915 hours - tied up dept head
- using his handkerchief and ink, muffled him up(should suffocate in 15 minutes)
0920 hours - walk out of office. door closed and locked.
0930 hours - killed everyone else in office with katana(still dont feel like a battousai. mus tbe the lack of skill)
- dept head turned blue
0945 hours - arrives at CIP department. using a cigarette, burn light the room. guard the door and kill anyone who tries to run
1030 hours - all guards arriving dead.
- proceed to IPW committee meeting
1115 hours - strangled all members with choke wire
- feeling a lot better now
1130 hours - peek in on committee for chinese langauge(my sister speaks better chinese than these twerps)
- pierces each of them in both kidneys(they'll die)
1200 hours - dump knife and wire in bin. use kerosene to burn it all
- wipe katana clean and mail back to japanese penpal
1230 hours - lunch at mcdonalds

promos are over.
preparing for open house RJ now. kalaidoscope its called
dumb name, dumb event.
more than half the peeps coming will never step thru the rusting gates of RJ again.
anyhows, there's nothing much to see.
if yer a gal, u came to chat with older friends
if yer a guy, go ogle the dancers who are older than u, and u'll never get them.
then again, most of them are positive airheads.

so maybe some will come to see their friends. some just extra enuff to crash the event
bottom line is, its a dumb event, where u try to attract ppl into choosing RJC
as if that needs to be done. kids these days are so carried away by academic success they probably dream of coming to RJ.
dumb.

whihc brings me on to the MOE, parents and students. and the clash of interests between them.
the MOE wants better trained students. they want us to know more, and be able to do more.
Parents want us to succeed, to perform well. Good grades, nice record, good testimonial blahblahblah
the combined effects of this, we get all sorts of programmes such as IPW, CIP, PEARLS and so on and so forth.
each time round they make any changes, there's always the plan by the MOE, and criticism from parents.

in a perfect world, parents would look out for their children. unfortunately, this is by no means a perfect world.
parents dont listen to their children, and are more interested in what they think is best for the child, than what the child thinks is healthy for himself, or herself if u insist on being femininist and really anal.

its kinda like saying, i know u feel the pain of being shot by a bullet, but really, i think its best if u didnt get painkillers, u might get addicted or some bullshit like that. so anyways, sandwiched between the demands of parents and state, children find themselves squeezed dry like lemons. don't we all just feel wonderful now? anybody just ralised why teenage suicide rates are going up?
well done =p

but twhats the real problem here? the students dont get a voice to air their opnions. and even when they lose it and snap, nobody listens. thats the real problem. and dont tell me about students councils and the like. they're even simply elected. the powers that be, which we disagree with, have the right to veto.

aint that a joke, the sole check we have against their abuse of power, and they have the veto on anyone they see as unfit. arbritrary, unfair, undemocratic the list goes on.and obviously the radicals arent going anywhere. telling the teacher he/she is wrong is not going to earn u brownie points. school prefect? yea right.

so why do the youth of today suffer? nobody listens with enough interest to stand up for us. they call it rebellion. for us, its survival.

if yer an adult reading this and u disagree, 2 words. FUCK OFF.

new entry. i'm bored again. got my physics promos tomorrow. they're like my end of year exams.
and it sucks. duh. all exams suck. only thing that sucks even more is IPW. in a nutshell. school sucks
wihtout school, we'd learn faster, learn more, apply better, and be happier all at once. why have school at all?

aside from teh eudcation system being fucked up, life sucks cos i cant go out and play anymore. nobody to play with.
i ahte becoming an adult. what happened to fun? why must we be so fucking busy we cant take a step back and go back to sunday football games with everyone else?

fuck education man.

since i'm in the mood, i think i'll write one more.
i dont know what this is gonna be about, so you'll have to stay with me while i ramble.

i'm thinking about law and punishment here, cos i'm doing it for GP right now.
seems like everyone wants to talk about the death penalty.
does it work?
is it moral?
blah blah blah.
personally, who cares whether punishment serves the 4 tenets of justice?
(retribution, rehabilitation, deterence, and closure btw)

like in drow society, for all u AD&D fans, if you're good enough to get away with it, what the heck?
and who says human laws are perfect, correct and even good for everyone in the 1st place?

so there. its all nonsense and u've just wasted time reading it.
hope u feel better too.

thats why they call me slim shady, i'm back, i'm back ~ Eminem

that says it all, i got something else to spew.

just read something that goes like this.

What can screw up, will screw up. - Murphy's Law, street slang

ok apparently my last posting on how to kill ppl didnt quite come out right.
essentially, i recommeded garotting with a choke wire and stabbing the brain from the base of the skull up with a stiletto knife.

sounds easy? well it is.
but today's lesson, boys and girls, is a continuation.
what i'm basically trying to tell you, is that things never go the way u want them to.
for example, you want to go out with the girl next door. but, its just not gonna happen.
more importantly, u think u can sneak up on someone from behind, but it just doesnt happen.
then what do you do?
if u have the dagger, a thrust into the throat might work, but what good is a choke wire?

moral of the story : don't try any of this unless ur really good.

its been a few days adn i'm back here again.
promos are around the corner. one wonders if everyone will be so hyped up over it if S papers didnt hang in the balance.
probably, nobody would give a shit.
and why do we need S papers, cos every wants a scholarship.
and why does everyone want a scholarship?
so the government pays your way outta this mudhole for the next 4 years.
if the end all of yer education experience in singapore is
I HATE THIS FUCKING PLACE AND I WANT OUT. then, don't you thik something is wrong with the system?

life really is boring when u sprain yer ankle.
no ball games, no running, no gym. yeah life sux.

i'm stone bored. what i need is to buy myself a katana and kill a few of my classmates.
yeah.

so i was studying a lot about wage determination
then i realised ppl usually arent exactly rational in the economist's sense

Finale :

This is a tribute to the Almighty God.

Intro :

Dear Lord,

I just wanted to thank you, for guiding me through rough spots over the years, even before i knew you were there.
Everyday now, i still can't believe, can't understand, just how much you care.

This is it, this is freestyle, right from the bottom of my soul

There was pain, betrayal, hatred and turmoil
Everything in the world just set my blood on boil
No man, woman, adult or baby
Could even contrive, a way to control me
As far as i was concerned, the world was gonna burn
For everytime, a dagger was put in my back, see

Then outta the blue, a new family came
Bringing me brothers i would never have again
Banded together, we rocked the world
Waited for the stories of our glory to unfurl
Then one day they asked me if i would go to church
Pretty strange a question i thought at first
Why not? a li'l voice in my mind it quipped
Much better than sittin' at home, i'll bet

So i was off to the House of the Lord above
Back then i weren't sure i could even feel love
Then when i met the Lord, it was all so unreal
from that day on i learnt how to feel
It was quite a shock, a pleasant surprise
But what took me away was the look in his eyes
It was impossible anyone could care for this little guy

But damn it all its true, as the sky is blue
I realised all the while, i was playing the fool
There was somebody who would cut me some slack
As much as i needed so that i could lean back
Put my life back together one bit at a time

So this is my love song to the One Above
For draggng me outta the gutter
Without so much as a mutter
Through Him i have it all now, through all eternity
And I wanna thank him, for making all my dreams
into stunning reality.

Outro :

If you must forget everything else, remember this :
[John 3:16] For God so loved the world he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Amen.

Insert :

I forgot to introduce myself before rambling on endlessly. Name's michael. with the A before the E. read yer bibles people, its in there.
if u find 8 letters too troublesome, u can shorten it to Mike. Mikey if u wanna make me sound cute. Call me the Mouse and i'll whip out a 9 to give ya a third eye, if ya catch my drift.

Right now, i can't say i enjoy life very much. it was better during the last 17 years. yeah, i reminesce a lot.
Living on an island with a paternalistic government doesnt help. and no i aint cuban.

I'm into hip-hop, rock and rap. Gimme a ring if ya hear the same shit.

Sometime ago i was a gymnast, and a swimmer before that. nowadays, my mind does the acrobatics with debate.
I'm supposed to be a student, but i hate the job so i joined the Underworld.

That's all, i guess.

Leave ya'll with a quote.

"You don't wanna fuck with Shady, 'cos Shady, will fucking kill you!"

in all honesty, i hate lectures. for the next hour, one just sits in this uncomfy seat and listen to boring people zombify interesting things. actually, i dont attend them no more. the result, i'm attacked by boredom.

and the notes you get are even worse. look at the maths notes. for differentiation, implicit differentiation got like 5 lines. and its the only part most of us havent seen before. grief. somebody needs to change the mofo system( i apologise for oathing, i'm agitated. not happy? read the previous blog, then decide if ya wanna complain)

so i was at chem lecture on tuesday. hey, at least he lecturer was sorta eye candy and was rather amusing. made the process less painful. in any case, i find JC school life a drag. pique my interest.

oh yeah, by the way, welcome to RJC

108 weak points on the human body.
Some of them fatal. Some cause enough pain to incapacitate.
Some just painful enough to numb. The minor ones, daze u for a second or so.
Worst part is, some of these need minimal strength to target and attack. My younger sister could prod a finger into the radial nerves on your thumb and make u scream till u let go. Wait. u let go, then scream. yeah, minor point

On the other end of the spectrum. Just below yer sternum, there's this li'l bit of cartilage called the substernal notch.
Angle a 45 degree uppercut upward right there. a knee will do too. dont really need full force either. accuracy is the key word here.
damn notch dislocates, shoots upward, thru yer ribcage, into yer heart. yer dead before you hit the floor.
freaky? yeah. moral of the story? don't mess wiht someone who knows all this shit.

Ok. its Spetember 11th. i oughta write something about it.
Sad event. Major tragedy. Immense strength shown by the USA.
God bless America.
Security still needs titghtening up big time. When newscasters can carry uranium around undetected, there's a problem.
Somehow i dont think blowing up Saddam is gonna make anyone feel better.
I still dont think Bush is a good President.

Contemplating the meaning of time

inspired by Thief of Time - Terry Pratchett

Basically, the question is, what is time? To answer, this question, we have to ask what purpose time serves.
Sounds simple doesnt it? any quick answers? didnt think so. so often its the really simple questions that stump everyone.
Maybe, it would help if we imagined a situation where there was no time. What would that be like?
Lets just presume that everything would happen all at once, and we'd have a grand big mess.
That would mean time keeps separate events separate. for example, without time, consumption, digestion and excretion would occur all at once. now that, is gross.
With that out of the way, then how do you measure time? in seconds? in nanoseconds? what is the smallest division of time? how far can time be divided? yeah it sounds like matter and atoms.(superstrings now actually)
since time is needed to keep events separate, the smallest unit of time, is the time needed for this particular event to occur.

thats about it so far.